Research Paper

Sex and Complimenting

One of the most crucial aspects of complimenting behavior is that of sex of both speaker and addressee. This factor has been observed to have a strong conditioning effect on frequency, type and even syntactic and lexical choice in complementing behavior.

Researche findings so far suggest that complimenting appears to be a speech behavior occurring much more frequently in interactions involving women than men. Holmes (1988), for instance, points out that women generally give significantly more compliments than men do and that they are far more likely to be the recipients of compliments in a wide range of speech situations. Holmes explains this finding by saying:

It appears to be much more acceptable and socially appropriate to compliment a women than a man. One could speculate that because compliments express social approval one might expect more of them to be addressed "downwards" as socializing devices, or directed to the socially insecure to build their confidence on the other hand if men regard compliments as FTAs, as embarrassing and discomfiting, then it is not surprising that the fewest compliments occur between them.
(Holmes, 1988: 452)

It is of interest to note here that the findings stated above are considerably supported by the fact that women generally regard compliments as positive politeness devices and equally by the fact that this positive attitude to compliment -on the part of women of course- is recognized by both sexes in the community. Moreover, compliments are considered not to be a preferred male strategy for expressing this positive function, and men, therefore, use them only when required by societal politeness rules.

It is obvious that the sex of speaker as well as addressee has a great effect on the choice of compliment topics. In her examination of the distribution of compliment topics by sex , Holmes (1988) points out that there are really considerable differences between the complimenting behavior of women and men. Women appear both to give and receive compliments much more frequently than men do. This is, as one might expect, particularly true of compliments having to do with appearance, which are generally regarded by women as most appropriate for complimenting. Indeed, a compliment on someone's appearance is difficult to interpret other than as an expression of solidarity, so the predominance of this compliment topic in women's interactions is consistent with the view that women use compliments for this positive function. This is not true for men, of course, who usually consider other topics -ability or possession- as most appropriate for complimenting. Men's greater use of these compliments other than those on appearance reinforces the suggestion that they are more likely to perceive and experience compliments as embarrassing and discomfiting. Obviously, these differences between men and women in regard to the choice of compliment topics is a clear indication that they generally use and perceive compliments quite differently.

Another aspect of complimenting behavior, which relates to sex, has to do with the syntactic and lexical choices involved. Holmes (1988), in examining the syntactic patterns of New Zealand compliments, observes that women often use syntactic forms which attenuate or hedge on compliment force and this is usually done by the use of the minimal patterns such as "great shoes". As concerns the lexicon, Wolfson (1983b) points out that the most common adjectives that are used in compliments in the American society are used equally by both men and women. But, taking into account that the sex of addressee may be a more important socio-linguistic variable than sex of speaker in conditioning the choice of speech forms, Wolfson notices that there are a number of adjectives that are never addressed to men although often used to refer to them by women.

A research paper submitted to the department of English of Cadi Ayyad University
in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Licence-es-Letters in English
Year : 1998 - 1999 / Major : Linguistics / Seminar Title :Pragmatics
Supervisor : Dr. GAJJOUT Hassan